Let's LEAD - October 2022

(Notice the new branding...more on that below!)

Uh-oh!

This last March, I traveled to Florida for the first time since early 2020 to speak at a women's leadership conference. It was AMAZING to reconnect in person.

Then, I came home to THIS ⬇️ in my kitchen:

Refrigerator Leaking Water: Help is on the Way! - Water Extraction Experts  (not my actual floor, but...)

Honestly, at first glance, it didn't look that bad. Then we pulled out the refrigerator...water damage everywhere.

Let's just say this: it's surprising (to me, at least!) the amount of damage a $10 plastic hose can make.

Six months later, we're still dealing with the aftermath. Reconstruction finally started last month.


The crew is going to be in my home everyday for the next month, so getting to know them is important to me. 

I'm also about playing to strengths. For me, this means tapping into my ability to be organized and ask questions. 

I can't count the number of conversations, whether by email or phone, that I've had with all the parties involved...insurance adjusters, the restoration company, contractors...and at one point, I heard myself apologizing for asking so many questions. 

Why was I apologizing?

 

Confused Excuse Me GIF by YoungerTV


Last month, we talked about the importance of setting clear BOUNDARIES for ourselves, as an act of Self-Care. 

This month, we'll take Self-Care a step further...by exercising SELF-ADVOCACY. 

 

What exactly IS self-advocacy?

Self-advocacy is defined as: 'an individual's ability to effectively communicate, convey, negotiate or assert their own interests, desires, needs and rights.' (VanReusen et al., 1994)

It's about making the ask.

In Mastering Your Inner Critic, the author Susan MacKenty Brady says the BIG QUESTION around making the ask is:

How do you ask for what you really want - even if it's JUST for you?

For many of us, it's easy to ask on behalf of our children, our families...but just for us? Not so much.

  • "They'll never say yes, so why even ask?" 
  • "I don't want them to think I'm being selfish." 
  • "They're as busy as I am...I'll just do it myself." 

Or, in my case: "If I ask one more question, they'll think I'm a total pain in the @$$." 

All of these beliefs are rooted in an ASSUMPTION. 

  • You're ASSUMING they'll say no. How do you know?
  • You're ASSUMING they'll think you're selfish. So what?
  • You're ASSUMING they'll too busy to ask. Maybe...or maybe not!


I often hear myself asking this question of my clients: "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT'S TRUE?"

"Well, I don't..."

"Okay...then how CAN you know?"

"I can ask them."


As leaders, we choose to advocate for ourselves and our teams, AND model it for others. We can share our successes...what worked and what didn't. We'll talk more about this next month when we look at being VULNERABLE.

Check out this video:

3 Tips - Making your ask

"Don't ask? Don't get..."

Yes, that truth sucks, AND it's still true. People aren't mind readers, yet we are quick to blame others when we don't get what we want.

Did you ask? No? Hmmm...

You're right. The answer MAY be 'no.' And if you don't ask, the answer is automatically 'no.' 

AND...the 'no' you may get isn't personal. Maybe...

...the timing is bad

...you asked the wrong person 

...you asked for the wrong thing

...or maybe that 'no' is really an opportunity to redirect you in some way. I heard this recently: Rejection is redirection. 


Consider these steps when you decide to make an ask:

  1. Shift your mindset. Think of the last time you wanted to ask for something but stopped yourself. What story were you telling yourself that caused you to pump the brakes? 

    My Controller Saboteur doesn't like to ask for help. She tells me that there's nothing I can't do on my own, so there's no need. 

    In recent months, I have really had to call myself out for that BS. Because here's the truth: there's PLENTY I can't do by myself. This especially includes seeing things clearly when my emotions are in play.

    A good friend set me straight: "Let the people who care about you help you." Got it!

  2. Start small. If you're not used to asking for what you want, start small. Susan Brady calls these 'micro-requests'...knowing what you want or need in the moment to effectively navigate our daily lives. 

    Do you need a second set of eyes to review a report? Try this: "Would you be willing to take a quick look at the first draft of my report? I'm concerned I'm missing something and I'm sure you'll catch it." 

  3. Get clear. What do you REALLY want? If your ask is strongly connected to a specific goal or vision, then making the ask becomes easier. Here's an example:

    Like anyone with their own business, I want to grow and support as many leaders as I can. Given this goal, at the bottom of each newsletter are some clear 'asks:'
    • To forward this newsletter to anyone you think might enjoy it,
    • to connect with me on LinkedIn if you aren't already, and finally,
    • to introduce me to anyone you think might benefit from working with me as their Coach

Do you know what you contribute? The value you deliver? It may be a simple as asking to be added to a key meeting where you know your attendance will make a difference to you and your team's results. 

So, what goals are you working on that require an 'ask?' MAKE IT! 

What are you waiting to ask for?

Cool Resources

What I'm reading (articles, books*):

I've referenced this amazing book a couple of times already: Mastering Your Inner Critic by Susan MacKenty Brady is a must-read.

Linkage's annual Women in Leadership Institute is based on the content of this book, and in preparation for my role as Learning Team Leader in this year's event, I pulled it off the shelf for a refresher.

*I use Amazon links (no affiliate relationship); please check with your book retailer of choice

Quote: 

"Self care is how you take your power back." -- Lalah Delia

...and something more:  

I just got back from my Sunday morning walk...this is my time to listen to podcasts that have captured my attention.

Today I listened to Dave Stachowiak's Coaching for Leaders podcast with Megan Reitz. The topic is timely for this newsletter: How to Help People Speak Truth to Power. 

It will help you hear what needs to be heard...

Coming up...

So...about my new brand!

Excited Schitts Creek GIF by CBC

Many of you who know me know that I can over-engineer pretty much anything. 

My word for 2022 is SIMPLICITY, so I have adopted a 'keep it simple' mindset. This applies in ALL areas of my life, and my business is no different. No more throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what sticks.

I also have decided to let go of 'Leveraged Leaders,' and simply be Camille McKinney, Leadership Coach. It feels right.

I also want to thank my new friends at Elevate5 for sharing their branding expertise and helping me realize the next iteration of my business!

What do you think? 

Connect with me...

Is there anyone you know who might enjoy this newsletter? Please forward it to them!

Did someone forward this newsletter to you? Opt in here to subscribe AND get my free assessment: "Self-Leadership: The Path to Clarity and Confidence."

Do you know anyone who might benefit from working with me? I always appreciate referrals! This reference describes the services I offer, and includes an easy 'copy/paste' email template to initiate a quick introduction.

I also share great articles in LinkedIn from inspiring thought leaders on various leadership topics, especially on issues that are timely and relevant. Please connect with me!

Finally, if you're interested in scheduling a call to talk about how coaching can help you create the transformation you desire, click here...I'd love to support you!

I look forward to connecting!